Hans Madsen

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Can we rise again

Having a child with severe autism is one of the most transformative things you can ever experience. We love our son and want to give him the best life possible. And with the knowledge there was back then, there was a possibility his condition could improve, perhaps he could even start talking.

We gave it everything. But 30 years later we have to acknowledge that he is exactly the same as he was then. He is still autistic with all that entails, he still has no speech.

Was our fight in vain?

Now looking back on 30 years of living with severe autism, we can share a story of a family that never gave up. We took all the fights that were necessary, and that we believed could help our son to have as good a life as possible, as a child and a youth, but also the hardest of them all, in adulthood.

We achieved what was considered impossible, yes unimaginable. Our lives were not isolated from all the things we wanted to achieve together with our children. Autism was not allowed to prevail, that would be our clear goal, our life task. Autism would not be our son, but only a part of him. Behind his eyes, we found a happy, loving, and absolutely wonderful guy, we found our son.

But that also came with a price. Were we able to live two such different lives? And what happened when his life wouldn't change? Could we change and give up our hopes and dreams?

The story of autism contains so many different angles, and somehow, they all came together in our life. Science moved forward, and many answers were elaborated. It turned out that we had done so many things right. Still, there were so many losses.

The story begins on a spring day in 1993. A normal day it may seem, but this Saturday our lives would change forever. The life we had hoped for would now forever be gone. We just didn't know it at the time.